An Apology

Dear All
I think that the best way forward to alleviate the current animosity that has occurred between us, is to put pen to paper and offer you all a full and frank apology for my recent behaviour towards you and feel that you deserve an honest and frank explanation as to the motivation behind my previous and recent actions, some of which were outside of my control.

I am not sure if any of you are or have been aware, that I have been undergoing treatment at The Whiteleaf Centre in Aylesbury for, what originally was thought to be Hypomania, which is where a person’s ability to control their actions is not within their physical control. As I was un-medicated at the time, this can be the only justifiable reason for my behaviour towards you all. I don’t blame any of you for the way you acted, as I would have probably done the same under similar circumstances.

As a result of this, the Community Mental Health Team then updated my diagnosis to borderline Multiple Personality Disorder, as it would seem that one of my personality traits, at the time, had manifested itself as a personality type. A couple of weeks after that and following some intensive treatment under Dr Bargiatos, a Consultant Psychiatrist, I have now received a confirmed diagnosis of Bi-polar Disorder (with associated paranoia, anxiety and depression), for which I am now receiving Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) support and high dose anti-psychotics to control my behaviour, my moods and to prevent me going off at 100 mph and upsetting other people in the process, which I am sure you will understand is knackering and very draining at best.

On top of that, I have just recently had surgery on my right hip for a labrum tear, which was more complicated than first imagined. When Mr Birring, my Orthopaedic Consultant undertook the surgery, he found the ¾ of the labrum had occified, only leaving 2 cms to support the entire hip, or in other words the ligament had turned into bone, which effectively meant that I had been walking bone-on- bone for two years. I am now receiving post-surgical physiotherapy treatment for that condition, but my CPN said would have impacted on my mental stability at the time, just in having to cope with the postoperative pain alone.

In closing, I wish to offer you all, if I may, a full and unreserved apology for any stress, upset or distress that I have caused any of you and hope that you have are having fantastic Summer. I hope you continue to have wonderful weather and look forward to engaging with you all again when I finally recovered sufficiently to allow future interaction with you. Saying that, I hope that we can now put these matters to rest and say nothing more about them, as it is causing me a great deal of upset and distress, as it was never my intention to upset anyone to whom I wish nothing but the best.

Hope this letter finds you all well.