The gentle craft of grave tending

‘A gentle craft, carried by gentle people in gentle surroundings’ would be my summing up of Grave Tending, a niche industry which is slowly but surely growing in the U.K.

The idea is to clean and restore graves and headstones in a non destructive manner (i.e. no bleach or   sand blasting etc.), using environmentally friendly products as far as possible and doing so in as  gentle way as is feasible.

No matter what I do, I can never return the stone to its original state, as constant exposure to the weather and the environment will inevitably weather and age it, but it is certainly possible to return it to a condition that a customer ‘can be proud of’, as one of my clients said to me.

Those sort of feelings are always in my thoughts when I’m working for a client and cleaning their loved one’s resting place – I’m acutely aware of their investment in feelings, time, money and memories, hence the name of my company Memories Grave Tending.

It’s safe to say that Grave Tending is not widely known in the Dioceses of St. Albans and Oxford, the 2 areas which I cover. Although there’s no authentic history of the trade, I think it’s safe to say it has its roots in Eire, with it’s centuries old tradition of ‘Cemetery Sunday’. This was an annual day, usually in the summer, where graves were garlanded and decorated , but has slowly but surely morphed into a day of remembrance, flower laying and grave cleaning.

There’s an apocryphal, but amusing story, which says it was a sideline for Council cemetery workers. It’s said they’d be tipped a few quid by mourners or relatives to look after the grave, a process which happily continued for may years until Council managers found out that the workers were spending half their time, and using the Council’s tools to carry out their profitable side line in working hours. Needless to say this brought an abrupt halt to the practise!

Back to reality, it’s certainly a well established trade in Ireland, with even small towns having several firms. A blogger writing on the subject said that the Roman Catholic community had far more ‘flamboyant’ graves and were far more likely to use their services than their more austere Presbyterian counterparts.

Interestingly the biggest firms in England tend to be in the North West/Merseyside, areas with a long history of Irish immigration. Having said that the sector has spread throughout much of the U.K. to the extent that there is now a national Association of Grave Tenders (of which I am proud to say, I am a member of) www.associationofgravetenders.org which encourages best practice, professionalism and environmentally friendly processes.

Many of the best practises are taken from the Commonwealth War Graves Commission (www.cwgc.org) , which it would be remiss of me to ignore. They are a wonderful organisation, which somehow manages to maintain 1.75 million graves over 23,000 burial sites in 153 countries, all in impeccable condition. If it’s good enough for them then it’s good enough for me!

I think this gradual expansion has to do with 2 trends, namely longevity and mobility.

Turning first to longevity – we are all living longer, and youngsters today will usually spend many years knowing their grandparents and even great grandparents. This just didn’t happen 50-75 years ago. and means that today’s generation have, in my humble opinion, a far more intense bond to their grandparents. This results in work for me (!), as they don’t want their much loved relatives to be forgotten or neglected.

This latter point feeds into the second trend, namely the increased mobility of families in the last 50-75 years. So many people now move away from their birthplace for work or University etc. but still feel a connection to their family’s historical base. They are obviously unable to tend their relatives’ graves and so the need for someone to do it for them.

So why do I do it? Primarily it gives me huge job satisfaction, something I hadn’t had for years. It’s also very rewarding , seeing the results of my endeavours and hearing/reading the positive, and sometimes very moving, reactions from my clients. I enjoy running my own business and I love the environment; graveyards are very peaceful, beautiful places which are a joy to work in. Add in the fact that there’s no pressure or deadlines, that my clients are lovely people and I’ve always been interested in churches and local history I think it’s safe to say I’ve got the perfect job!

I hope I’ve shone a light on a niche sector that my friends and acquaintances are generally fascinated by.

I’ll sign off with, inevitably, a little sales pitch. If you want to see examples of what I can do , or require any further information please visit my website www.memoriesgravetending.co.uk .